Starting The Healing Process
Once the divorce is finalized an even greater work begins…the healing that needs to take place so you don’t make the same choice again.
Many people who come out of narcissistic marriages find it difficult to untangle themselves from their former spouse. The “programming” they went through keeps pulling them back into an abusive cycle. This happens because their subconscious mind is still attracted to the behavior. So, if you are not careful, you could find yourself right back in the frying pan of another narcissistic relationship!
While a hard way to live, it is very addicting which makes it hard to break free from the cycle of abuse. Your past has been trying to please them, hoping to “earn” their approval and kindness. That works for a while but the other shoe always drops and you find yourself in a situation of having to defend and/or yourself once again. If you are struggling with this, you must recognize that the need for their presence in your life is toxic and unhealthy for your healing process. You must set up some healthy boundaries that will allow the space to heal.
Understand this: you can do it with God's help! I know that may be hard to believe, but the truth of the matter is there are ways for you to get out from under all this pain and confusion. You can regain control over your own life by following these steps in this guide. No matter what stage you're at with a narcissist, you can get on the path to health and healing today.
30 Day Plan To Heal From A Narcissist
- Set a boundary that your former spouse cannot call, text or email you for a month. Put it in writing and have it delivered to his attorney so you have a paper trail.
- Make an appointment and go to a pastor, counselor, or life coach who is trained in this type of therapy.
- Start a journal of your healing progress. Take some time to consider what areas need to be addressed in order for you to feel better prepared to move into your future of freedom and healthy relationships.
- Select the top 3 topics in your journal and plan to get started on them right away. Find a friend or family member to hold you accountable to achieve them.
- Find 3 scriptures that speak to you for support. Mine was and still is Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, the Lord declares, plans for good and not for evil; plans to bring you hope and a future.”
- Begin every day with the scriptures, ask the Lord what He wants to help you with today, and then write it down.
- At the end of the day, reflect on your day and write down anything that happened that blessed you or made you feel hope for your future. Thank the Lord for what you wrote down and ask Him to continue to help you as you move through your healing journey.
- Make a list somewhere in your journal of the good things God is doing for you so you can review it when you are feeling low or depressed. Review this often and share it with your support team.
- Celebrate your progress in some way, even if it’s something as simple as a bubble bath or walk/hike in your favorite park or on your favorite trail. Observe the beauty around you and let it renew you.
Yes this can quickly become overwhelming and it does take effort, and more importantly prayer to move past this, and untangle yourself from what was to make room for what will be. Just know this isn’t a sprint and there will be some days where you take two steps forward to fall back three steps. It’s ok, it is part of the process. The more important part of this journey is knowing God is guiding you through it, and just like storms in the past this too will pass.
My calling is to make sure you are equipped with the right knowledge and tools to not repeat the past, but to thrive moving forward. That is why I give away my Ebook Destiny After Divorce that you can get a copy of by simply clicking the link below.
Yours in healing,